Valentine’s day is approaching fast! Whether you’re looking for some good conversation starters, or wishing for some tips on how to make that date turn into something even more fun, science has got you covered! Here are things that you probably don’t know about falling in love and attracting the person of your dreams:
1. Want to know if a person is right for you? Follow your nose!
The scent of a potential partner can tell us whether that partner is genetically compatible. Scientists in Switzerland asked women to rate the odors of sweaty t-shirts from 6 different men. It turned out that the women found the odor more agreeable if a part of the immune system, called the major histocompatibility complex (MHC), was compatible between the two individuals. So you might want to hold off on that perfume or cologne and let biology point you to your best mate.
2. Men, want to smell better to a woman? Avoid eating meat.
A pair of scientists in the Czech Republic let women rank odors from two groups of men: one group was kept on a meat-free diet for 2 weeks while the other ate meat. The meat-free guys smelled more attractive to the women.
3. Women, your cycle can change how attractive you are!
Studies, like this one, show that men find women’s faces, voices, and body odors more attractive when the woman is in the fertile phase of her menstrual cycle (just before she ovulates). This means that your hormones can actually make you look, sound, and smell different depending on the time of the month!
4. Want to find the perfect mate? Ditch the birth control pill.
While your nose can do a pretty good job of telling you whether your date is genetically compatible, using birth control can really muck that up. In the same study described above, women on birth control were unable to use odor to detect a compatible mate.
Scientists have also found that birth control can actually block your ability to respond to the love hormone, oxytocin. Normally, women and men who are given a nasal dose of oxytocin would perceive pictures of individuals to be more attractive than others who weren’t given a dose of the hormone. But when women are on birth control, this doesn’t happen at all! So if you want to find your perfect, compatible mate, you may want to find a non-hormonal method of birth control.
5. Want your date to spend more money on you? Wear something red.
It turns out that red means hot in more ways than one! Using 5 experiments, two psychologists from the University of Rochester showed that when women wear red, men find them to be more attractive. As part of the experiment, some of the men were told to assume that they had $100. They were then asked how much they would spend on the woman in a picture. The results? Wearing red helped women to score a more expensive theoretical date.
A date isn’t the only place that red works well for women. Female hitchkikers wearing red were picked up by more men (but not women), and male patrons in a restaurant gave bigger tips to waitresses wearing red. But sorry guys, this doesn’t seem to work the other way. Women don’t seem to be affected by the colors men wear.
6. Men, want to be the alpha? Grow a beard. Want to land a lady? Shave it off.
Men often think that a beard makes them look more masculine, and the science says that it does! But that doesn’t mean it’s attractive to the ladies. In fact, the opposite seems to be true. Men with full beards were ranked as most aggressive and socially mature, but light stubble or no beard at all was most attractive to women.
7. Want to know how the date is going? It’s all in the pupils.
Pupil size is a well-known signal of arousal in both men and women. This is because pupil dilation is activated by the sympathetic nervous system, which controls the fight or flight response. When you’re excited or nervous (like you might be on a date with someone you really like), this system kicks in, making your heart flutter, your skin flush, and your pupils dilate. Not only that, we actually use pupil sizes to choose our partners! A study showed that, when given a choice, men and women chose partners with more dilated pupils. So maybe your chances are better if you try to pick someone up in a dimly lit room.
8. Is there love in the air? The eyes have it!
When you’re feeling love for someone, your brain is flooded with oxytocin. A study showed that men given oxytocin spent more time focusing on the eye area of human photos. So if there’s a lot of eye contact happening, there might just be love happening too.
9. Wondering if she’s into you? Listen to the sound of her voice.
Women speak at higher pitches with men that they find attractive. We also tend to pick people we like using voice pitch. In general, men find women with higher pitch voices more attractive while women find men with lower pitch voices more attractive. But don’t go changing your pitch on purpose. According to science, that doesn’t seem to work.
10. If a girl feeds you her dessert, you probably just scored a second date.
That’s right. Like animals, humans use courtship feeding! Scientists filmed 739 couples that were out on first dates. In some cases, one member of the couple shared a bit of dinner or dessert with the other. 93% of them expressed a desire to go on a second date compared to 49% of couples who didn’t feed one another. Feeding was usually initiated by the woman, and she usually shared her dessert. So guys, if she gives you a bite, you’re probably in!
11. Want to increase your chances with your date? Try something sweet.
It turns out there’s something to the saying “Love is sweet”. When scientists provided men and women with food or drink that was sweet (oreos or Fanta Orange soda) and then asked them questions about a hypothetical relationship, those participants rated the hypothetical relationship more positively. So eating something sweet could make you and your new date feel more positive about a potential relationship with each other.
12. Want to get some? Try eating chocolate.
Chocolate has long been considered an aphrodesiac, and with good reason! Cacao, the substance responsible for giving chocolate its flavor, contains several psychoactive substances that produce similar symptoms to love and sexual arousal. For example, phenylethamine is a chemical that passes into the brain and makes it produce dopamine, which is a feel-good chemical in the brain. Dopamine is the same chemical that you produce when you are in love, or when you experience excitement and euphoria.
13. To increase chances even more, plan a date that gets the adrenaline pumping.
There are now several studies showing that activities that get the adrenaline pumping can influence how we feel about people we’re with. Couples riding a rollercoaster felt heightened attraction to their partner while they were on the ride together, and couples who had just watched a high-suspense movie did more touching and talking while exiting than couples that saw a calmer movie. More recent studies have now shown that the level of adrenaline in your blood can predict how attractive you find someone. So maybe a bungee jumping date is in order this V-day!
14. Infatuation triggers the same reward systems as cocaine!
Maybe your date went well and now you’re at that first stage of a relationship where just the sound of a person’s name is enough to make you smile and sigh. That happens because the sight of the person causes your brain to flood with dopamine, the same chemical that gives one a high after doing cocaine! For this reason, many think that this stage of love can actually be labeled as a clinical addiction, and a break-up a true physical withdrawal. The jury is still out about the clinical classification, but there’s no doubt that dopamine is a strong chemical that can make you feel literally “head over heels” for a person.
15. Finally, lovers hearts truly beat as one.
If you’ve progressed to the commitment stage with your partner, you’re probably sharing more than your morning coffee. A researcher at UC Davis showed that the two members of a partnership have similar heart beats and breathing rates. Not only that, but when reacting to something emotional, their heart rates change similarly. So I guess you could say that the two of you are of one mind and body.
Wrapping it up!
If we look at all these facts about love together, what is striking is that we seem to retain quite a few of our animal instincts. Many animals use scent and/or pheromones to make their mating decisions. Primate females are attracted to the color red, and so males have red ornaments to attract females. And many many animals use courtship feeding as a ritual for attracting and bonding with a mate. So if we just allow our biology to lead us, we may be more successful in love.
Wishing you all a very happy Valentine’s Day!
